I’d like to think that my cynical outlook on life and death have made me impervious to war and all the industrial-scale death and destruction it leaves behind. But once in a while, something pops up to remind my of my humanity.

A video recently surfaced online showing two pro-Gaddafi fighters in Misrata on a rooftop, on the sunset of 4 April 2011. Even if you can’t understand Arabic, just by looking at their faces and listening to their defeated voices gives you the sense of despair they are going through. It is hard to sympathize with pro-Gaddafi fighters, but i really felt for those two, especially being so young.

Here are some out-takes providing a little more depth, in an life-imitating-art commentary:

[cameraman] Shamiyah (name of his friend) What a fucked up situation huh? All our friends are dead. We’re left all alone here. We were a fantastic group. What the hell is wrong with this world? The roof here is empty. It used to be full of people. Now it’s filled with empty mattresses. May God have mercy on their souls.

He then reminisces about his friends in the order they were killed in before turning the camera on himself .

Mom, if i die, take care of yourself. My friends, Rabih, Zintani, guys you are all my friends, God willing i’ll survive this. If not, I ask forgiveness from all those who i’ve wronged.

Then in a chilling reminder of the mission he was sent on, he makes one final nostalgic comment.

Those are the desk chairs which they guys used to roll on when they were hunting the rats [read: sniping at rebels]

The cameraman was either killed or captured since the video found its way online.